The adventures that the creature took itself on would draw many to his side. The novelty of the creature not in question but in the creature’s world, there are many to compare with it. The cause for such magnetism was something far different. In the face of adversity, the creature had collected a coterie through happenstance and total involvement that questioned the current tensions that existed amongst the territories, and had even broken ancient tribal sanctions, trespassed on holy land, and so the list goes. It had managed to collect a coterie, but had achieved little of the fiction that its presence helped to generate. This tendency to be attributed such feats only helped to make its life far more than it could have done so by itself.
It just so happened that all the talk from the rumour mill had inspired some earth spawn to seek it out when it finally retreated into seclusion. The reality of the situation was confronting for them both and the conversation had a long broken rhythm.
“I thought you also had an extra leg.” The earthling said.
“No, I broke that off when someone said I should break a leg.”
“Truly?”
The creature exhibited signs of resigned passivity.
“A heart of gold is a heavy thing.” It said. “What of that anatomy should be so curious for it to have something call on at it’s own expense?”
“What?”
“There are many of my contemporaries that can be equalled rejoiced for a unique structure.” The creature gestured with small repeating motions in his arms. “What is that matter?”
“You mean what does that matter?” The earthling hoped to correct the creature, whose only registered reply was what the earthling to grin.
“This is the matter.” The patterns on the creatures skin began to pulsate and flash as the earthling witnessed colours it had never seen before arc their way to four central points. This was being stored at increasing concentration in the circles on his skin, which were on the back of it’s hands, and glowed radiantly when they had reach peak potency.
“You saved my grandfather once.” The earthling was overcome, mesmerised.
The world around the creature disappeared to be replaced by a new one and the earthling saw this happening to him as well until there were neither of either of them.
And the world faded, and the earthling returned to the senses of his body. The shock it had experienced didn’t express itself in any usual way; just a small barely noticeable smile and that stayed petrified.
“I did nothing. We do not exist. But, what you saw came from you.” The creature reasserted it’s presence by shrugging it’s shoulders. “You can say you know this world from the back of my hand if you want.”
“You. Don’t. Really know what you’re talking about, do you?”
“No, I dosed the drink I gave you when you sat down with me and I accidentally got me too. Haven’t you seen the sight of me lately? Dreadful.”
The earthling stared, unable to gauge where the creature was coming from, and was met with a compassionate gaze.
“We do not exist as I have just shown you. We do not exist as you have seen.”
“No, I’m real. I have an identity.” The earthling claimed. “I’m as real as you. And if you don’t exist, then…”
“This is my one true secret, the only one I can tell you dear, patient, and curious earthling. We do not ever exist as we think we do or had.”














Comments
Advanced critique, hey?
In that case, you misuse the contraction "it's" several times! "It's" means "it is", whereas "its" is like "his", meaning "belonging to it"
*It's your fault!
*Not its fault!
[link]
The disjointedness was also put in effect because I didn't wish to impose on any (pre/post) existing timeline by establishing any character traits that wouldn't be fulfilled in other mediums. Wishful thinking, true, but this caused me to try and approach the creature's personality as if it had already gone on most of the adventures that lay before it from the moment of conception.
When in the act of writing, I want my readers to be able to reach into the same place I imagined and sense it, which requires a great amount of detail. I also wanted to go into further detail about the world of creatures around the central character, its reasons for desiring seclusion, and dig closer to the motivations it feels. If I did keep that version (which is unfinished), while keeping in with the word limit, it would have been only explanatory, rather than having elements of an active story. At that point, I could only imply characterisation and I felt that cheapened any personality I could have bothered to insert. It was then stripped back, given more dialogue than just a "I am the president and I endorse this message" style, with a more concise introduction.
Oh, and thank you for pointing that out. That has been one of the most consistently recurring errors in my writing, that old contraction confuzzlement. I have been considering it could be useful for me to re-enlist in an English course somewhere; my English hasn't been getting rusty so much as rustic. I have probably spent too much time around the colloquial.
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once you begin to do what is right, who will be able to do what is left?
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